This Week in “I can’t even.” (Part 3)


I haven’t posted in 10 13 days because I literally cannot even. Trump is president. My dissertation is stalled and my graduation will be pushed back from May to August. Trump is president. I don’t have any job prospects. Trump is president. My advisors are driving me nuts. And have I mentioned that Trump is president?

I didn’t think Trump taking office would affect me so much – we’ve all been putting up with his bullshit for months, years now. But now every insane thing he says, every stupid thing he tweets, every lie that his staff insists is truth has matters so much more now. His recklessness could really fuck some shit up and frankly, it’s making me very anxious. I feel like I’m always waiting for the next news alert.

So let’s just recap some of the crazy that has happened in the last week:

UGH. I was driving down to DC listening to the inauguration. I knew it would piss me off to hear him speak, but I also knew it was important to listen. To remember how frustrated I was at that moment. And it was incredibly frustrating to hear him talk about “American carnage.” Eight years earlier I was standing on the National Mall listening to another inaugural address. That one gave me such hope. This one filled me with dread.
This one sent me into a tailspin, because my Plan B if I can’t get an academic job was to get a federal government job. Apparently not. When I got this news on Monday afternoon, the rest of my day was shot. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t move. If he was going to start pulling this stuff on “working day 1,” then worse was sure to come.
More talk of “carnage.” (Also, why the quotation marks?) What exactly does he think the Feds are going to do?
This is how Mexico is paying for the wall, eh? I can’t even say any more than that. I have wasted enough breath, words, and brain cells thinking about this border wall. 
The amount of discussion around crowd size this week was unreal. And we all know that it’s a thinly veiled metaphor for the size of Trump’s hands and/or penis.


A lot more has happened since I started assembling this post (hello, refugee ban!) and I’ll have to comment on more of it later. The amount of anger and confusion I am feeling right now is indescribable. How the fuck did this happen? I mean, obviously I know how it happened – I study this shit. But why did we let it happen?

I keep telling myself to keep fighting. Fight against your depression to finish your dissertation, fight against the despair of the abysmal job market, and fight against the hatred of the administration.


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